How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation where you just did not agree with what you where hearing. Whether the topic is religious in nature, a political debate, or something as trivial as who has the better buns Mel Gibson or Brad Pitt, sometimes you just don’t agree.

What should you do in that circumstance? Well, if you’re interested in continuing the conversation, you might be inclined to just bite your tongue and let your conversation partner ramble on. Or perhaps you’re style is to agree with everything, regardless of how you truly feel, for the sake of being agreeable.

Well, both of those methods will work, but isn’t it much better to have a really interesting conversation where everyone’s opinions can be heard, respected and discussed? As a practitioner of the art of conversation you should be able to disagree with your conversation partners without being disagreeable.

What’s the Difference?

Well, when you disagree with someone you have a difference of opinion. When you are disagreeable; you are unpleasant, offensive, quarrelsome and bad-tempered. The two do not have to go together. You can disagree with someone’s point of view with out being quarrelsome or unpleasant about it. Here are some examples of how to disagree disagreeably.

Disagreeable Ways to Disagree.

“That’s the dumbest think I’ve ever heard.” “Where did you come up with that idea?” “That doesn’t make a bit of sense.” “You’re wrong.”

Say any one of the sentences above, or something similar, and your conversation will either come to a screeching halt or blow up into a full-fledged argument.

Disagreeing the Right Way.

“Your point of view is very interesting, but I think…” “Its been my experience that…” “I believe that…” “You could be right, but I’m pretty sure that…”

How could anyone take offense to your giving an opposing viewpoint when you start with any one of those sentences, especially if it’s given in a friendly, non-combative tone of voice? It is possible to disagree with out being disagreeable.

Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, no matter how wrong you think it is. Keep that in mind, and you will be able to disagree agreeably with anyone you meet, and have interesting, thought provoking conversations.

And who knows? Occasionally, you might even be convinced to change your mind.

Source: http://www.entertainmates.com/conversation/convers_tips_023.asp

First time Salsa dance and bar

It was a great experience to have tried Salsa dance (a Cuba originated dancing) for the first time in my life.. and well, it was also my first time to come to the bar in Macau. Portal Wine Bar is such a nice place for enjoying various types of great wine and drinks with nice Latin American music and dancing. Located in Taipa village, this bar is a rendezvous place of many foreigners from all walks of life in Macau. Salsa dance is only available on Friday night.

My Saturday..

Nihao everyone!

Ah,.. It’s weekend again.. and I felt a bit relax after the whole week of working days. This Saturday I had two schedules, but the most important one was to see the dentist. So somehow, it was not quite relax as previous weekends.

Talking about going to see the dentist, I always skip from time to time until I cannot wait any more.. my serious teeth problem need to be treated.. Erm.. the word “no time” maybe what I always use as an excuse, but another excuse maybe I’ve just got to know a recommended dentist .. anyway, it might be better than to go to random dental clinics without any knowledge about them. This is my first time in Macau to go to see the dentist.

I made an appointment with the dentist since last week. So this Saturday I had to meet him at noon. The dental center is Novocare Dental Center locates on the 10 floor of Macau Square building near Lisboa hotel. It is easily accessible by bus from my place. I took bus no. 18, and it just stopped right in front of the building. The doctor’s name is Dr. Jonhson Yip. He is a friendly and professional dentist and he speaks very good English. Thanks Elsa for recommending this place and the doctor. Some of staffs and fellows from UNU-IIST also used to come here. Though its service is a bit expensive, but I don’t find anywhere else that offers cheaper dental service in Macau.

I supposed to have my damage molar and wisdom tooth extracted, but doctor suggested a fill in first, taking some medication, and observing. I will have another appointment within the next couple of weeks. That was it for the dental schedule on this Saturday.

Another schedule was to see the dance performance at the Cultural Center in the evening with some of my colleagues. We got the ticket since last month. I thought I would not be able to joint if my tooth was extracted. But since it was not, I could go to see the performance.

“Dancing in the Wonderland” was the name of the performance and this was performed by the team from the Netherlands. The performance started at 7.30pm and lasted about 95mn. You can see the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XobzBjMm-JQ . The performance was very nice. This was my first time to see the performance at Cultural Center in Macau.

In the theater

The performance

After the performance, we (Elsa, Zamira, Pratickshya, and I) went for dinner at a Mexican restaurant – Tacos restaurant locates just the opposite side of the Italian restaurant we went previously and only about 5mn walk from the Cultural Center. The restaurant is not very large, but the atmosphere is quite romantic with extensive tasty Mexican menus. I would recommend this restaurant if you are looking for a romantic dinner with someone special .

Tacos restaurant

We ordered chicken Nachos, soft tunaTacos, crispy tuna Tacos, and lamb Fajita. The food flavor was absolutely wonderful.. and it was even more fantastic with the sips of Sangria (white wine mix with fruit). While we were having our dinner, I had broken a glass and some wine was spilled on Pratikshya.. I felt sorry and nervous about that, but since everything was fine my mood returned to normal.. and we all continued to enjoy our dinner. In contrast, we considered it as a cheerful moment.. . Finally we ordered Flan, a traditional Mexican dessert. The taste was great.

Nachos

Fajita

Tacos (crispy)

Sangria

After dinner we went for some drink at Casablanca Café. This place is calm and good for having chit chat over drinks. Many varieties of soft drinks, beers, and wines are available here. Each of us tried Macaritas? (white wine with lemon) before we went back home.

A full Saturday had ended with many new great life’s experience in Macau..

Good night

How To Simplify Your Life

These days, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by an overly complicated life. If you’re looking for ways to gain control over your life or your current situation, consider simplifying.

Simplifying your life can mean cutting unnecessary to-do list items, eliminating clutter from your home, fine-tuning your priorities, or otherwise gaining perspective on what truly matters to you.
Strategies to Simplify Your Life

1. Identify what’s most important to you and then get rid of everything else. Know what really matters the most to you. Things that don’t matter are simply wasting your time and energy, so purge them as soon as you can.

2. Make a list of the top 4-5 priorities in your life. Keep this list with you all the time so you always remember what counts the most. Put a copy on your bathroom mirror, another above your bed, and keep one in your wallet for good measure.

3. Evaluate your current commitments. Look at absolutely everything going on in your life right now. Which of these commitments actually deliver value or joy? Which are in line with the 4-5 priorities you listed in the previous step? Eliminate everything else.

4. Assess how you spend your time. How are you spending your time? Make a list of everything you do in a day and compare that to your list of priorities. What can you eliminate?

5. Simplify your work tasks. Rather than trying to knock off every single task on your to-do list, focus on only the most essential tasks and then find ways to eliminate all the others. To do this, you can try delegation, outsourcing, moving them to other days or simply dropping them.

6. Simplify your home tasks. Repeat the above process with your home tasks, removing the things that you’re not reasonably going to accomplish in a day. Simplify your list of home tasks by automating, delegating, outsourcing and removing anything that doesn’t fall in line with what’s most important.

7. Learn to say no. When you learn to say no, you’ll begin to take on only as much as you can handle. Then you can give your attention to the tasks that matter the most.

8. Limit your consumption of media. The abundance of media available today can overwhelm nearly every second of our lives. Try to simplify your own life by limiting media and information consumption whenever possible.

9. Be selective with your methods of communication. Designate certain times for communication by only e-mailing at certain points in the day, only using the phone during certain hours, only chatting via IM in your off-hours and so on. Limit the ways that you communicate throughout the day to prevent communication from overwhelming you or your day.

10. Purge unnecessary stuff. Devote one weekend every month to getting rid of absolutely anything that you don’t want or need in your life. Removing everything that doesn’t really matter can be therapeutic and cathartic. Purging your home and your life once monthly is a really beneficial process to your overall health and well being.

This is only a small sampling of the things that you can do in order to simplify your life. Consider this to be a foundation, though, that will guide you to find new and interesting ways to create a simple life. With just a little conscious effort, you can achieve simplicity in all aspects of your life.

Source: http://personaldevelopmentmaster.com/how-to-simplify-your-life.html

Past memories.. life in AIT

View this document on Scribd